Thanks for all the summer TV tips from last time, guys! I have one for you: Burn Notice. If you aren’t watching it, get off this blog. I’m not joking.

Okay, okay, come back. But seriously, watch it. Anyone else got any summer favorites to share with me?

The Freelance Writing Jobs

1. Technical writer – Intuitive Surgical is looking for a technical writer to provide documentation for a whole bunch of programs. A design background would be ideal, as you’re working on manuals here. This freelance writing job pays $50 an hour. Contract expected to last 6 months.
2. Fitness/nutrition writer – Last 5 Pounds is asking for an easy-to-work-with writer who has fitness/nutrition experience to help write a 20- to 30-page booklet to accompany their weight loss program. This freelance writing job pays $1,500 for the project.
3. Business plan writer – do you have experience writing business plans? You’d be creating plans for startups and clean energy tech firms. This gig says it will pay up to $50 an hour. I think you know what I’m about to say–don’t settle for less. You are worth it. This freelance writing job pays $50 an hour.
4. Tutorial writer – Mediabistro is looking for people to create short tutorials for other writers. There are nine different topics to choose from, so hit the link if you are ready to show off your Lynda.com-style skills. This freelance writing job pays $375 per project.

Freelance Writing Job Tip/Worst Gig of the Week

I swear that I’m not combining these two features this week out of laziness. Instead, it’s for illustrative purposes.

ATTENTION BLOGGERS: 
We are also hiring Bloggers. YOU MUST HAVE YOUR OWN BLOG AND IT MUST HAVE A PAGE RANK. We would pay you based on your google page rank. Here’s how it would work. I would assign you a topic. You would write about that topic on your blog and link to our site.

If you’re interested, please email me the URL of your blog along with the page rank.

Submissions that don’t follow instructions will be disregarded.

These are terrible jobs. Always. Basically, they want you to do all the work that’s actually their job (namely, getting readers and traffic) and then they get you to work for them. If you would like an analogy as to why this is a huge ripoff, here it is.

Let’s imagine that you’d like to build a building. I don’t know why, seriously, but you just do, okay? So you build a building. Then this guy comes along and he’s like, “Oh wow, what a lovely building! May I use it?” And you’re an agreeable sort so you say yes. Then he says, “Wow, this is a wonderful place. Listen, I need to use this building every Monday. Is that okay?” You had your heart set on living in this building, but why not? He seems nice enough. He even offered to pay. “Great,” he says. “Here’s the thing. I need you to redecorate the entire place for me every Monday, as I must have low mood lighting and beige walls. I cannot stand vibrant colors. If you don’t, I will not pay you.” Unfair? Yes. And this is the worst part: it’s your damn building! You’re the landlord, not them. If they want the traffic so damn bad, then they should build their own blog a little better.

The tip of the week is to never take a job like this. Especially when they fail to list a rate.

If you’d like to look through longer aggregated lists of freelance writing jobs to help you save time in your job search, All Freelance Writing recommends Anne Wayman’s freelance writing jobs at AboutFreelanceWriting.com.