Comments on: Should You Take a Quirky Spouse to a Professional Conference?

By: Jennifer Mattern

Jennifer Mattern — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 00:50:13 +0000

I just don’t believe in treating people differently because they think they’re important or because someone else tells me they’re important. And do you know what? A lot of them respect that — they want people to treat them like people and not kiss their ass all the time or constantly try to impress. When I worked in music PR I dealt with all kinds — relatively well-known artists, unknowns, publicists, label execs, etc. And I treated every one of them exactly they same — they got the same blunt treatment I’d give anyone else. And that’s why I’m still in touch with quite a few, long after getting out of that game. I’m the same way with my current business clients. It doesn’t matter if they’re a CEO of a relatively large corporation, a major player in the industry who happens to read one of my blogs, or some 19 year old webmaster hiring me to help him take his project to the next level. Again they get to work with the same old Jenn. And they keep on coming back. So conferences and other events are no different in my mind. I’ll just show up as me. Love me, hate me, respect me, ignore me. I don’t really care. That’s your choice to make. I know my style isn’t for everyone, and I’m okay with that. I’d rather accept that than be the type who tries to appeal to everyone because they have no focus. Besides, knowing who I alienate helps me find the clients I don’t — the ones who usually have the big bucks to spend, the personality to give and take fair and constructive criticism (a part of the job), and the ones who respect me for what I can do and not for the show I put on “in public.”

By: Jessica Mason

Jessica Mason — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 00:41:29 +0000

My philosophy though is that no editor, publisher, colleague, etc. is more important than I am (or anyone else is) — people are just people, and they can either be impressed by who we really are or they can suck rocks for all I care because I won’t think about them again anyway.

That is just awesome. I wish everyone felt that way. I have recently decided myself that I’m not going to buy “work clothes” any more, only clothes that I would wear of my own volition anyway. More and more I’m starting to feel I just don’t have time in my life for people whose regard requires a special wardrobe.

By: Rebecca Garland

Rebecca Garland — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 00:54:14 +0000

Absolutely bring him, but make sure you do what you need to do while you’re there. Don’t get too comfortable being around your man that you forget to network appropriately. As for what he’s going to wear, if he can pull it off with humor and grace, he’ll be fine in whatever he decides to wear. Individuality FTW. :)

By: Lucy Smith

Lucy Smith — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 21:55:49 +0000

Actually, since my partner is a web developer we often end up going to the same networking events (web events are a minefield of people who can’t write but need writing done). We learned pretty early on that we were best to split up at these things – armed with each other’s business cards in case – because otherwise we were the couple that no-one wants to approach, or we were too comfortable chatting to each other and didn’t make the leap to go and talk to other people.

Usually this works great; sometimes it leads to unintended hilarity. We did this ‘together but separate’ thing at a workshop on marketing. When we had to do the little spiel about who you are and what your business did, the guy running the workshop got very excited about how complementary our businesses were and made us exchange business cards and arrange for a coffee meeting. We both kept quiet and tried not to laugh.

By: Alina Bradford

Alina Bradford — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 20:39:40 +0000

I took my husband to a media event I needed to cover once. He works nights so he needed to take a nap in our hotel room before the event. When it was time to get ready to leave he wouldn’t wake up! A lot of the event promoters knew that he was to be in attendance and I had a lot of awkward conversations trying to explain that he wouldn’t wake up. lol

By: Yo Prinzel

Yo Prinzel — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:31:08 +0000

Hahahaha, I can’t tell you how much I felt your pain on this one. When I was in the insurance industry, I took my hubby to some events. I also took him to a speaking engagement I did because I wanted him to video the event so I could turn it into a marketing CD.

My husband is a liberal political activist and a musician.

Insurance agents are often not liberal, and often not musicians.

I was scared sweaty 90% of the time.

But my hubby (and I suspect yours), while not good at putting on an act, does understand how to tone down some of his more boundary pushing personality traits. He was sexy and charming and funny and the perfect plus 1. Although, I don’t think his sexiness really had any benefit other than the fact that I enjoyed it.

As far as the cap–KEEP IT!! Definitely! If anything, his sports thing might give you a GREAT conversation starter and an in with a client who otherwise might not have cared either way. There is nothing wrong with being an unconventional and memorable person.

By: Jazmin

Jazmin — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:23:34 +0000

Oh, I am so excited to read some replies!

This questions was really starting to make me sweat. Do I turn him into James Bond for a night? Do I leave him alone altogether? Or, do I just ask him to lose the cap? I was stumped.

I did ask him about momentarily losing the Steelers cap, and he said something along the lines of “well, is this other one okay?” Thanks for all of the encouraging comments about the cap, because I think this one is nonnegotiable.

By: Lori

Lori — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 16:28:05 +0000

True story – I took my husband (then boyfriend) to our office party. We were sitting on the couch chatting with one of the supervisors and he looked right at her and asked, “So why doesn’t your company promote individual contributions?”

I did hate that job, but I didn’t think they needed to know that as much as he thought they did. Though the terse conversations on Monday were interesting….

I say the Steelers hat is a MUST. :) I say as long as her husband doesn’t corner the boss and start listing all the things Jazmin hates about the company, he’s good to go.

By: Jennifer Mattern

Jennifer Mattern — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 15:41:59 +0000

Exactly. You never know who might share an interest (or even be a fan of a rival team, which could certainly spark interesting conversations of its own). As for sequins, I have to agree on that. Very distracting. And scary. Why do they still put them on clothes?

By: Jennifer Mattern

Jennifer Mattern — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 15:40:03 +0000

Same here… I don’t really care if others want to get all dolled up. I don’t judge them any worse for sporting the suit than I would someone walking around in sweats. Unless I become a fashion critic it’s just not my job to care.