As a firm believer in freelancing the way you want, I try to stay away from stereotyping my peers. But I have noticed–and maybe you have, too–that freelancers tend to have a lot of invisible friends. And, by “invisible” I mean people they’ve never met. Whether through social media connections, blogging communities and freelancing forums, I know a lot of people pretty intimately that I might just pass by if we were ever on the same patch of sidewalk.

And it’s not just fellow freelancers, either. Many of the clients I work with, I’ve never met in-person. I remember attending a big meeting for one large DC based client because I just happened to be in town a couple of years ago. As I sat down to the table and pulled out my notes, I realized that I had a working relationship that lasted years with several of the people in this room. Sometimes I was emailing and calling these people several times a day. Yet, I had to ask each one her name before I could figure out who was who.

In-Person Connections

Last year, I spent a lot of time thinking about how I hide behind my computer. I’m one of those people who really enjoy my own company. Previous traditional jobs forced me to mingle with the general public so I always had a nice balance in my life. The moment I started working from home, I noticed that I spent more time in my head than anywhere else. I loved the fact that I could connect with others hundreds of miles away with just a few keystrokes. Still, I soon remembered that in-person connecting has its perks, too.

First of all, a face to face meeting creates a trust that you don’t always get when all of your contact is over the phone or Internet. This is great for client relationships. I used to have a client in Virginia whose office was near a shopping center I did a lot of errands in. If I happened to be around–um, and looking presentable–I’d walk in and say hi. I got a lot of work from her and I like to think that it’s because I made an effort to connect every couple of months. She could put a face to my work and that helped her trust me.

Another great benefit is that you don’t have to type as much. You get to give your computer or phone a break and just talk. If you’ve got email/Twitter/Facebook fatigue, this is the cure. You don’t have to “like” or retweet anything, either. It easier to decipher tone and meaning in person, too. No more carefully wording everything because you’re afraid the other person may take it the wrong way.

And finally, it gets you out of your home office and into the world. If you’re someone who spends a lot of time cooped up, this is perfect for you. Fresh air, sunshine and good company. What more could you ask for? And when you come back, you’re guaranteed to feel a little more inspired.

Making the Invisible Friends Real

So this year, I have a plan. I’m going to comb through my social media and email contacts for those who live in the greater New York City area. Then I’m setting up a meetup with each one. Lunch, dinner, cup of coffee or walk in the park, I’m going to meet as many people as possible this year. Not everyone will be into it, of course. But, the ones that are will get to see my smiling face in-person and we can both verify that each of us is actually real.

If you’re so inclined, there’s nothing stopping you from making your invisible friends real, too. I’m sure at least one or two of your Twitter contacts is local. Send them an email and ask them to coffee. Or participate in a TweetUp in your area. If you’ve got local clients, hand deliver that next holiday or thank you card you planned to send them. You could ask if you could stop by to pitch some new projects to them, or just offer to take them to lunch sometime.

For those of you living in less populated areas, don’t despair. Google Plus has nice hangout feature that lets you have group video chats that I’ve been using with great success. Skype has a similar feature. Invite two or three of your invisible friends and you’ll get the face to face connection without traveling a few hundred miles to get it.

And if any of you are in the NYC area, I’d love to put a face with your name. Email me and let’s take this thing to the next level.

About Princess Jones

Princess Jones is the evil genius behind Diary of a Mad Freelancer, where she shares her freelance life with anyone willing to stop by. She’s also the creator of Group Therapy, a monthly chat that gives other mad freelancers the chance to share their experiences.

This has happened to me a few times in the past, and I know the same is true for a few other established colleagues. Usually it’s not a big deal. It’s a case of a new writer trying too hard. And that’s forgivable. Sometimes, however, it’s more than that.

Crossing the Line Between Networking and Stalking

Over the last several months I’ve dealt with an individual who seems to struggle with this line. They bill themselves as some kind of marketing expert, yet their own marketing turns off colleagues like me because they resort to abusive tactics like spamming and trolling, and they engage in the stalker-like behavior of following me around from site to site. Here’s a quick look at what’s happened:

• This writer found me on a colleague’s blog where I published a guest post. Their initial comment was fairly typical troll-like behavior. In this case they were being deliberately provocative while adding absolutely no value to the conversation. They took an article about the importance of the business side of freelance writing (as in knowing your value), and commented that they agreed with it. But they went further, explaining that they “agreed” that writers should not be paid well for their work (because then “everyone will expect better pay” — paraphrasing). They took the position of the article, turned it upside down, and commented to agree in a way that implied my position was that writers were not worth decent pay. You know me well enough to know that’s bullshit.
• I didn’t think much of the comment initially — perhaps that someone just didn’t bother to read. This was also a person promoting their own copywriting business — very clearly the pushy marketing type desperate for traffic, even if it comes through trolling. I responded, clarifying my actual position. Later on that blog owner actually removed the comment exchange after seeing the pattern of this person’s comments.
• Shortly after this person followed me to my own blog. That’s fine. That’s why we write guest posts — to build our own audiences. But I started noticing a trend. This person was pushing links left and right, blatantly spamming with meaningless comments to get backlinks (to a site that was somewhat spammy in its own right). And there were a few other instances of twisting words to imply I meant the opposite of what I said. I don’t tolerate spammers or trolls here, and as per our comment policy that person was put on a permanent moderation list. For months they have continued to try to comment here, and not a single comment has been approved. Now I put them on a moderation list rather than a block list so I could reconsider them if the behavior changed. Sadly it has not.
• This person followed me around to a few other blogs, responding to comments I’d left when there weren’t posts of my own for them to respond to. And this wasn’t a case of them responding to everyone — most were direct responses to what I personally shared.
• This same individual sent me emails trying to get me to send my clients their way or outsource some of my work to them. Remember, to that point their only attempt at networking was to push their links down my throat, act like a stalker following me around from site to site, and twisting my words whenever they wanted to be controversial to get attention because they had nothing substantive to add to the conversation. I’m all for being open to controversy. But you must have something to say.
• I’ve ignored this fellow writer. I don’t do anything to encourage them to continue. Yet every time I think they are finally backing off, they resurface. They don’t seem to grasp the fact that their attempts at networking are a turn off rather than a legitimate marketing strategy. For the record, I’m not the only writer who has dealt with this person and had to block them or remove comments due to spamming and trolling. But for some reason, I can’t seem to shake them.
• Most recently this person followed me to a client’s website. Again, they’re back to posting useless shallow comments that add nothing of value or that are completely irrelevant. This is a case of a typical manual link spammer as they toss in home page links to their website in nearly every comment they leave (no legitimate reason, it’s already there tied to their handle, and it’s frequently irrelevant to their comments). The sad thing is that their comments are just coherent enough that some people don’t notice the pattern and they get away with it. That’s why they aren’t likely to learn from their mistakes. They’re still being rewarded for virtually stalking colleagues and littering their work with spam. I chose to leave my client out of it for now, so those comments were approved although I still won’t acknowledge them. If it becomes an ongoing problem and they move from simple link spam to more aggressive trolling again, I’ll chat with the client about it.

Sometimes it’s almost flattering when someone new to the industry follows you around and tries to pick your brain on a near-constant basis. You can dismiss it as growing pains and a certain amount of excitement on their part. They grow and mature and settle into the networking scene eventually. But sometimes aggressive networking and pushy marketing feel more like stalking. Does yours?

Remember that networking and marketing have long-term effects, not just immediate traffic. And your colleagues do talk privately. Once you’re identified as a troll or spammer, chances are good word is going to spread even if you don’t see that happening publicly. Don’t risk it. Don’t abuse members of your network. Don’t leech onto someone with desperate pleading for attention, and don’t do that with sites just because you think they’ll send a lot of traffic your way. When networking with colleagues, act like the professional you’re trying to be, no matter how new you are. While it’s nice to know a new writer values your opinion or appreciates your site, it’s something else entirely when that person is there every time you turn around.

Have you ever dealt with a situation like this — where one person has been so pushy with their attempts at networking or marketing to your audience that you have to cut off all ties? I’m happy to say this is extremely rare, and most colleagues are amazing people to chat with whether we’re bonding over experiences like these or having a heated debate. At what point would you feel the need to cut someone off?

Here are three simple ways you can better insulate yourself from bad writing clients.

1. Be Choosy

As a business owner, you can’t say “yes” to everyone. You have to be able to turn work down when there are signs that a prospect will turn into a nightmare of a client. If you take on that client anyway, you really have no one else to blame. So say “no.” Sure, that means you won’t have that gig bringing in income. That’s life. You move on. You find another, even better, gig. The more time you waste with bad clients, the less time you have to find and land great ones.

This is one of the reasons I push the idea of building a writer platform so much here. You build your visibility and your network and gigs find you instead of the other way around. If you have an effective platform, chances are you’ll have more prospects coming to you than you can take on. That means you can choose to work with the best and not feel guilty about saying “no” to others. It’s also another chance to network as you refer the “no” gigs to other colleagues (just don’t refer gigs with major warning signs or you could hurt relationships more than you help them).

2. Charge Professional Rates

The lower your rates, the more likely you are to come across these bad client types. That said, there are lousy clients in higher paying markets as well — just not as many. Why does your pay level play a role? For a few reasons:

• Clients who pay very little don’t have much invested in the project.
• If they aren’t willing to pay for professional work, they’re less likely to respect you as a professional (in their mind, you might just be some amateur doing the job for “play money”).
• It’s easier to say “it’s only a few bucks, so it’s not a big deal if I pay late.”
• They know it doesn’t make much sense for you to go to collections or sue them in small claims court if they screw you out of a very small payment.
• Clients who pay next to nothing are either cheap or not properly funded. In either case, they need to squeeze as much value as they can out of every cent they can. This is why low paying clients are sometimes even more demanding than those paying professional rates.

The best way to avoid this kind of treatment is to raise your rates to professional levels. Don’t sign over all rights to an article for $10 for example. Those writers are, and always will be, replaceable. If you want respect as a professional writer, you need to show that you’re not that easily replaceable — that you offer value the extremely low-priced writers do not. Charge what you’re worth, and you’ll immediately kick a large number of bad prospects off your doorstep.

3. Build Alternative Income Streams

When you’re desperate for income you’re probably more likely to say “yes” to any project that comes along, bad client or not. So you need to come up with a plan to get out of that desperation phase. One way to do that is to create alternative income streams. This is an especially good idea early in your freelance writing career when you probably don’t have clients beating down a path to your door yet.

These are income streams that don’t rely on you landing new freelance writing clients. It’s income that fills in the gaps so you never make bad decisions out of desperation. You know something else will still be coming in. Here are a few examples:

• Offer another freelance service (like design or marketing consulting) so you can choose the best prospects from both markets to work with at any given time.
• Publish and sell short e-books and reports.
• Run a niche blog. Earn income through ad revenue while you build an ongoing portfolio piece to attract new clients.

It’s all about diversification. Just like you shouldn’t rely on any single client too heavily, you shouldn’t rely on one income stream either. The more you diversify your incoming revenue, the more insulated you are against one of them failing (like a bad client refusing to pay on time).

4. Nurture Relationships with Regulars

It’s basic math. The more clients you need to work with, the better your chances are for coming across a dud in the mix. So rather than looking for short one-off projects, focus on existing clients and building regular contracts. Regular clients are people you have an ongoing relationship with. They’re more invested in that relationship. After all, it’s easier to keep a good freelancer they’re happy with than to spend time and energy trying to recruit one that could adequately replace them. It’s win-win.

Reach out to past clients and pitch ongoing gigs (like one or two articles into you managing their blog on a monthly basis). And keep existing regulars happy (within reason). The more regular gigs you have with clients you know and trust, the less time you’ll have available for those potentially bad prospects to get on your schedule.

You won’t always know up front if a prospect is going to turn into a bad client. Look out for warning signs, and know when to say “no.” If you do land one, don’t be afraid to “break up” with them after your current project. And work hard to maintain the relationships you have with good clients and build other income streams. If you do these things and make a conscious effort to avoid the cheapskate, deadbeat variety, you’ll never have to take on a bad client again.

Time and time again, I hear people (not just freelance writers) apologize as they “work a room” and talk to others about their business. This is something you should avoid at all costs.

Here are three common apologies to stay away from:

1. I am sorry, but I have to charge that much.

You may not think your rate schedule will come up when networking, but this happens quite often. You do not have to justify your prices through an apology.

Does your doctor apologize before he treats you? What about other professionals such as attorneys and accountants? Of course not. You have the right to set and control your prices. Be proud of what you charge.

2. I am sorry to bug you, but I just had to come over and say hello.

This is a difficult one. In some cases, you may need to interject with a quick “I am sorry” because you don’t want the other party to think you are barging in on their personal space. That being said, if you are at a formal networking event, such as one sponsored by a chamber of commerce, you don’t need to apologize when introducing yourself to others. Instead, act like you are supposed to be there. Be confident in yourself!

3. I am sorry, but I don’t have time to work with you right now.

Your first instinct will be to apologize if you don’t have the time to take on a new client. While this makes sense in some situations, it can come across as rude and elitist if you are not careful.

Rather than shut somebody down in this manner, give more of an explanation. Remember, your network can be full of clients and non-clients.

If you constantly find yourself apologizing as you network, break this habit as soon as possible.

So let’s get to it. Here are some ways you can bring a more social element to often-solitary nature of freelance writing work.

Lunch Dates

I’m fortunate that I have at least one colleague I enjoy the company of nearby. If you live in a more populated area than I do, chances are that you have many more local or near-local colleagues. Set up a lunch date with one or more of your colleagues every now and then. It gives you a chance to talk about work on a more personal level. But even better, it gives you chance to get to know each other outside of work.

You might think that Lori and I would spend all our time together yapping and ranting about work. But no. We talked more about things like family, holiday, and general life drama and then we checked out some local shops downtown. With a normal office job, you could take lunch with a co-worker any time to do these things. As a freelancer you have to make more of an effort to schedule them. But it’s worth it.

Work Away From Home

Renting a shared office space with colleagues might be taking it a bit too far for many freelancers. But why not work together just once in a while. Take your laptops to a local cafe or library. Just having people in the general vicinity (even if you go alone just to surround yourself with strangers) can make for a nice change of pace. Besides, you might meet some new friends that way — people there working for exactly the same reason.

Meet-Ups

Want to get a bigger group of colleagues together? Plan a meetup on an evening or weekend when everyone’s available. Go to a bar or club. Meet for a group dinner. Or choose something a bit more out of the ordinary — set up a regular club of sorts (a book club maybe), meet for a round of bowling, or even plan an all-day outing of interest to the group.

Twitter and Social Networks

You don’t have to replicate that water cooler feeling in person. Sometimes your favorite colleagues are half a world away. Keep in touch regularly on Twitter or your favorite social network. Use private messaging features to keep a personal element to the relationship where you can say anything and everything without fear that everyone in your network is virtually eavesdropping. Yes, social media tools are generally designed with the public elements in mind. But that doesn’t mean you can’t use them to maintain more comfortable private relationships with colleagues.

Not quite your thing? Then shoot them a friendly email. That’s how I keep in touch with colleagues I consider friends most often. We email each other one-on-one, as a group, or whatever feels right at the time. Whether you feel like getting the latest gossip, sharing a horror story from a work day from hell, or just seeing what’s going on with people, email might be “old school” but it’s still a great way to keep in touch and stay social in your freelance life.

Don’t let freelancing lead to loneliness. You have thousands of colleagues out there, and you’re bound to know and like at least some in your area. Why not reach out and get to know each other better?

Do you regularly keep in touch with colleagues on a personal basis? What are some of your favorite ways to keep in touch, or your favorite things to do when you get together. Leave a comment below to tell us about it.

Website: http://azrieljohnson.com

Specialty: Blogs, SEO

Rates: 0.10 per word

In Writing:
If I do not have any prior knowledge of a subject I will relish the opportunity to learn more about the subject. In my experience, I have come across a number of subjects, but I am always ready to learn and grow that much more to get a project finished.

Experience:
AzrielJohnson.com
2005 – Present
Cleveland, OH
Webmaster, Contributor
• Basic HTML programming for AzrielJohnson.com website.
• Extensive use of Search Engine Optimization.
• Extensive use of Social Networking techniques.

Detroit Examiner
2009 – Present
Detroit, MI
Religious Diversity Examiner
• Focus on Religious Subjects.
• Research in highly diverse religious areas.
• Focus on up-to-date news concerning religion.

Head Over Heels P.R.
2009 – Present
Los Angeles, CA
Freelance Writer, Programmer
• HTML programming for Head Over Heels PR website.
• Research in highly diverse areas.
• Extensive use of Search Engine Optimization and Networking.

The Writer’s Rep
2009 – Present
Los Angeles, CA
Freelance Writer
• Completion of time-sensitive articles.
• Research in highly diverse areas.
• Extensive use of Search Engine Optimization and Networking.

Education:
Washtenaw Community College
2006-2009
Ann Arbor, MI
• Liberal Arts Associates Degree as of 2009, Graduated with honors.
• Emphasis in Writing and Humanities.
• 3.5 GPA, heavy workload in last two semesters.

Strengths:
Tenacity, Determination, Attention to Detail, Creativity, Outside-the-Box Thinking, Logical Thinking, Adaptability, Article Research, Search Engine Optimization.

Skills:
Article Writing, Proofreading, Time Management, Adobe Photoshop, MS Office (Excel, Works, Word, Access, PowerPoint), QWERTY Keyboard 70+ WPM, Spanish Language Comprehension, HTML programming.

Here’s the email:

I finally have a question that you may have never been asked! Is it customary to bring your spouse to networking events? What if the event is out-of-town (think Seattle, and I’m in NY)? It might be nice to have my husband there because I’d like to avoid being the weird loner standing next to the food table. But, I also don’t want to seem weak (e.g. I’m not confident, so I had to bring my husband along).

Additionally, my husband is very unconventional. He plays the drums. He’s the GM of a store, so he’s not an office type of guy. And, he insists on wearing a Steelers cap even when he’s in a suit! If it is customary to attend networking events with spouses, would you bring my rocker-boy husband if you were in my shoes?

And here’s the gist of what I told her, and a few additional thoughts after the fact:

• Go for it.
• You’re not going to be tied to conference events 24/7, so if you think you’ll enjoy the city together why the hell not? It’s not like he has to be chained to you the whole time.
• I wouldn’t say bringing a husband along shows weakness. Only you can show weakness in yourself. Your arm candy doesn’t have that superpower.
• If your partner’s unconventional, so what? I say that’s all the better. Maybe Jazmin’s hubby’s cap would prove to be an interesting conversation starter and help her meet some interesting folks. Things like that can only make you uncomfortable if you let them. If something like that ever makes me uncomfortable, please remind me to promptly remove stick from ass.

I have plenty of my own quirks, so in my case my guy would be the “normal” one. For example, I won’t wear suits. If you ever catch me at a conference in a suit (unlikely given that I usually refuse to go — although that’s another story altogether) it means I’m either there in disguise as someone who gives a sh*t about such things or I’m preparing a strip tease and that’s my get-up.

Another thing is that unless there’s more than a half inch of snow on the ground, I’ll be in flip flops. I don’t care what else I’m wearing at the time. My feet will be relatively free. They’re happy that way. I’m happy that way. And I don’t particularly care that other people often find said flip flops inappropriate. Attending, presenting, whatever — you be you, I’ll be me. I don’t believe in putting on a show to impress people, and I wouldn’t expect that of my partner or anyone else I might drag along with me.

Now I bet there are plenty of folks who disagree — who either think you should be all buttoned up at these things or who think it’s important to keep up appearances because (God forbid) you might meet someone “important.” That’s cool. Do what you want. My philosophy though is that no editor, publisher, colleague, etc. is more important than I am (or anyone else is) — people are just people, and they can either be impressed by who we really are or they can suck rocks for all I care because I won’t think about them again anyway.

While I can already sense the cringing, I can say you’d probably be surprised by how many so-called “important” people have been impressed over the years by the simple fact that I’m not one to conform to their self-imposed standards. And if that means bringing along a partner, friend, kid, or whatever to a professional event, then so be it.

Thoughts? Would you bring someone along to a conference? Would you care if they (or you) didn’t meet people’s standards in some way while there?

What commandments do you work by?

Since being a freelance writer, however, one of the most important points I’ve learnt  is that networking with other writers is key to developing your writing business.

When I first started writing, I thought I could do it all myself.  Getting involved in a few different conversations but generally staying in the background, I believed that I could learn from others and develop my freelance writing career all by myself, without speaking regularly to other writers.

I soon realised that this wasn’t exactly the best idea.  I started to get more involved with other writers and without giving you the blow-by-blow account of what happened next, everything basically snowballed from there.

The following five methods all ways that I used to start expanding and developing my freelance writing business by networking with others and although there are other methods you can utilize, these five are the ones that I believe are the most useful.

1. Become a regular on the freelance writing blogs – the very first thing I did when I realised networking was the way forward was to start commenting on five or six of the main freelance writing blogs.

   I love rock and metal music and offline, whether I go to see a local band playing a small gig in a bar or a famous band performing to several thousand people at the city hall, the same people are always there enjoying the music.  They’re all welcoming, friendly and through them I’ve met some great people who I’ve learnt a lot about rock and metal music from.

   Exactly the same thing can be said about becoming a regular on freelance writing blogs.  You soon realise that whether it’s a major blog or somewhat of an underground one, the same people frequent them – with the vast majority of them being friendly and welcoming – and even within just a few days of commenting, you’ll learn something that you didn’t know previously.

2. Use Twitter – I.  Am.  In.  Love.  With.  Twitter.  I started using it properly a few months back but only used to tweet about completely random stuff, not quite “getting it”.

   Whilst I still make my fair share of random tweets (Yo – the beard FTW!), I’ve come to realise Twitter is arguably one of the most important weapons a freelance writer can have in their arsenal.

   Not only does it allow you to keep in touch with hundreds of writers at once, but I’ve seen a ton of useful information flying about, from posts which have helped develop me as a writer to actual job postings being tweeted – not the $0.05 per word ones, either.

3. And LinkedIn – I’ve talked before about how much of a great tool I think LinkedIn is and I seriously recommend that if you’re a writer and don’t have an account, you need to go get one now.

   LinkedIn is the ultimate networking tool.  It allows you to keep in contact with people you’ve worked with in the past, gain recommendations from them and keep up-to-date with what they’re doing now.

   Aside from the recommendations, one of the most useful parts of LinkedIn is that people can update their status just like on Twitter or Facebook.  Unlike Twitter or Facebook, however, the updates tend to be a lot more business orientated and I’ve seen bucket loads of job opportunities being advertised on here from other writers.

4. E-mail freelance writers directly – just a bit of a disclaimer / word of warning first.  Do not just randomly contact freelance writers asking for work or general questions about becoming a freelance writer.  This will do nothing but get people’s backs up.

   Instead, if you’ve got a question that you feel a specific freelance writer could help you out on, don’t be afraid to contact them.  Like I mentioned above, the vast majority of freelance writers that I’ve come into contact with are really friendly and extremely helpful people.

   Although you shouldn’t just randomly e-mail other writers, don’t underestimate how far a bit of one-on-one contact can get you – some of my highest paying gigs have developed from questions (not queries, just a question I had) that I’ve e-mailed to writers directly.

5. Write comment / discussion-worthy blog posts – whilst commenting on writer’s blogs is a great way to network with other writers, it’s important that you also create posts on your own blog that will incite comments and discussions.

   For an example of someone who is doing this spot on at the minute, take a look at Stacey Abler, the writer who Jenn is coaching.  I’ve not only seen Stacey actively participate in several discussions on other blogs, but she has also been writing posts on her own blog which are written so that they naturally start a discussion amongst writers.

Whether you’ve been a freelance writer for a few weeks or a few years, it’s imperative that you understand the importance of networking with other writers.  Just like in most other professions, whilst you can read as many resources on the industry as you can manage, it’s learning from others that really helps you progress.

This month’s monthly marketing mix focuses on networking. Here are a variety of things you can do during May to further your writing business and grow your client base:

1. Get out in your neighborhood. Spend some more time (or any if you don’t usually) networking and reaching out to locals.
2. Branch out. If you aren’t attracting as many clients as you would like, your target market might be too narrow. Think of at least one new, but similar, market to pursue this month. For example, if you write for women’s interest magazines, you may want to look at parenting publications. Or if you write marketing copy for law firms, you might add a new vertical writing for other professional groups (like accountants).
3. Grow your confidence. It’s difficult to effectively network if you aren’t confident in your work and abilities. Go back to your USP (unique selling proposition – the value you’re really selling clients). Remind yourself why clients should hire you, and then spend some time thinking about how you can better convey that value to prospective clients moving forward in your networking.