An Interview with Clint Osterholz

Today, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Clint Osterholz, auteur and comedian. Here are his thoughts on the recent changes to the freelance writing industry.

Hello, Clint Osterholz. It is very good to meet you.

Clint: Hello. It is great to meet you. I must demand that per my contract you cannot look me in the eyes or address me with anything less than my full name. Failure to comply will result in the termination of this interview.

Of course, Clint Osterholz. What do you think of the controversy surrounding content mills?

I think it's despicable. I'm really upset about how content mills have handled things. For example, I was a huge fan of Boo Berry, and now I can't find it anywhere. Do I really have to go on just to get a ghost-related breakfast cereal? I can get a vampire-based cereal with ease. And the market's glutted with them. There are literally dozens since the success of the Twilight series.

Clint Osterholz, I think that you might have gotten content mills confused with General Mills, the food manufacturer.

How dare you question my absolute authority.

I apologize. Clearly I somehow misstated the very clear question I posited.

That's fine.

What do you think of Elance's decision to allow employers to watch freelancers work?

Oh, I applaud it. Personally, when I hire a person to do something for me, I like to have absolute control over their every move. I cannot possibly see why anyone would have a problem with this. If you don't like it, maybe you should work for McDonald's. They allow you an awful lot of autonomy while you flip burgers. Of course, you have to work up to flipping burgers. You have to start on prep first. Oh don't get me started on all the micromanaging they do too. It sucks. But this is totally different.

It sounds to me like you're advocating a loss of autonomy for increased pay.

I would never be accused of that. I think that freelancers should still expect the same level of low pay. This would just be stripping away a minor layer of dignity that gets in the way.

Thank you for your time, Clint.

Osterholz. You forgot my last name! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.

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Clint Osterholz is a freelance writer who thinks he's awfully funny, and is surprisingly not a disappointment to his parents. You're always free to check out his portfolio if you'd like someone to be funny, or maybe write something a little more serious. Subscribe to my posts (only posts from this author).

10 thoughts on “An Interview with Clint Osterholz”

  1. Tonight on Dateline – Clint Osterholz exposes the secret dealings of Clint Osterholz. The case that was blown apart by a timely revelation from Clint Osterholz’s own friend, Clint Osterholz. What did Clint Osterholz reveal that gave police exactly what they needed to apprehend Clint Osterholz? Clint Osterholz has the story.

  2. Hahaha–like I would pick on someone else’s grammar–pot V kettle 🙂 No, I meant that you weren’t willing to listen to all of Jenn’s ideas–just the GOOD ones 🙂


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