Breaking News: Criticism Destroys Writing

Today I want to warn you about a serious blight on our industry. Many of you out there are serious writers and have been for a long time, and I respect that. I certainly have quite a few years of work under my belt, and I didn't get to this point without my share of knocks. Trust me, it is a tough world out there and I get it. But this cannot stand. We must unite against this menace, and soon. What is this horrible specter?

It is criticism. And we all know that being criticized in any way, shape, or form is unproductive. Why? Because it is evil. If people want you to change something that you're doing or writing, that means that they personally dislike you. On top of that, you should see it for what it is--an affront to you, everything you stand for, your professional output, and even perhaps your family and friends.

I say we fight back. Starting today, you can join me in my battle against unnecessary criticism (there really is no other type--criticism has no place in writing, ever) by enlisting in my new group: Beat Ignorant and Thoughtless Criticism through Healing. I want to turn this into an acronym that people can use as a noun or verb, so let me give you some examples:

  • Did someone disagree with your latest blog post and it hurt your feelings? BITCH about it!
  • Are you sick of people telling you that you could have a better writing career? BITCH about it!
  • Did someone not nominate you or vote for you as their favorite writer ever? BITCH about it!
  • Did someone dare to call you out just because little things like facts weren't right in the last article you turned in? BITCH about it!
  • Did a client ask you to rewrite something because the tone was off, but you're sure you know their audience better than they do? BITCH about it!

Listen to me--through BITCHing, we are going to change the way people see things. Criticism is never okay, because everyone has a legitimate point of view and analysis, whether or not they're based on facts. No one can be wrong or mistaken or even misunderstood because everyone should just be allowed to do things without any sort of improvement goals or standards, and it's OK to encourage others down that same path. That is how we are going to get better and finally shut up those people who don't understand us and love us, and it's how we'll get other writers to see how much we've been victimized so they can stop the cycle--by BITCHing.

Please consider sending a donation to dues@writersBITCH.org. I look forward to seeing you join the ranks of hundreds of other BITCHers working to maintain our utopian mediocrity through the abolishment of criticism. We welcome support from all industry martyrs and any writer mobs you can rally. Clients, colleagues... we can banish criticism of all writers everywhere if we only band together! Fight the good fight today!

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Clint Osterholz is a freelance writer who thinks he's awfully funny, and is surprisingly not a disappointment to his parents. You're always free to check out his portfolio if you'd like someone to be funny, or maybe write something a little more serious. Subscribe to my posts (only posts from this author).

6 thoughts on “Breaking News: Criticism Destroys Writing”

  1. LOL! I don’t even know where to go in commenting on this one except to say… hmmm… What’s the healing part, as in, how does one begin to manifest it?

    Reply
  2. I thought for a moment that this was for real. Anyway, some types of criticism are abhorrent because they attack the writer, not his writing.

    Reply

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