Five Signs You Might Be a Blogwhore

Dear reader, I've called you here today for an intervention. Oh sure. It started out innocently enough. You started out at Blogspot (maybe even Livejournal!) and put your ideas out there. It was pretty nice catching up on your infrequent and irregular posts. Once in awhile you would put up several posts in a week, other times you wouldn't update for months on end. It was harmless.

Oh but then you couldn't get enough, could you? It turns out that Xanga was just a gateway blog for you. You started thinking about increasing your SEO. You started updating your meta description before you even wrote your posts. You imported your blog from a nice free service to your own self-hosted domain. And--dare I even say it?--you got a Sociable plug-in. Do you even recognize yourself in the mirror?

I'm sorry. I got a little accusatory. This is an intervention. I am doing this because I love you. I ...worry. I think you may have become a blogwhore. Don't believe me? Here are five signs that you've become a total blogwhore:

  1. You now read more than ten blogs per day and leave a daily comment on each one. You have never once actually contributed to the conversation beyond something chirpy like, "Wow! Great article! I never thought of it that way!" Even if the article is about tying your shoes. This is the blog equivalent of telling someone to have a great summer in their yearbook back in high school. I also hate it when you do this because I am awfully witty, and that just means you ignored my totally rad comments. Sorry, again, this is not about me.
  2. I follow you on Twitter, and I don't think you have once tweeted about anything but your blog. Not only that, but you often retweet yourself. That is like clapping for yourself at an award ceremony. It's one level below getting drunk and humiliating Taylor Swift.
  3. You use bit.ly and su.pr, so when you update your blog, I'm always tricked into clicking on it. You always post links to your own writing like they're a complete and total surprise to you. "Wow! Look at what I found!" you tweet. I know you're not surprised by your own writing, not unless you're part guppy. Is there something you're not telling me?
  4. You post status updates on Facebook AND you hooked up your RSS feed to Facebook notes. Not only that but you've also linked your updates to Tumblr and Twitter so for any given update to your blog, I end up seeing that you just wrote an update four times. The next logical step is for you to call me, leave me a voicemail, text me, email me, fax me, send me snail mail, and physically come to my house and announce via megaphone that you updated. If you want, I even know a guy who can do skywriting. He's not cheap, but people need to know that you JUST NOW at THIS VERY MOMENT updated, so spare no expense.
  5. The last time I sent you an email, you asked me if I wouldn't mind submitting your response to Digg.

We need you to stop before you end up, cold and shaking, outside the New Media Expo, asking people if they'd be willing to give you a linkback if you add them to your blogroll. Do you recognize yourself?

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Clint Osterholz is a freelance writer who thinks he's awfully funny, and is surprisingly not a disappointment to his parents. You're always free to check out his portfolio if you'd like someone to be funny, or maybe write something a little more serious. Subscribe to my posts (only posts from this author).

20 thoughts on “Five Signs You Might Be a Blogwhore”

  1. I not so humbly will share that I *almost* went that way…the beginning was me, but then you lost me at the naughty valueless contributions and shameless promotion.

    And so what if there is little point in this comment.

    Wow at the Xanga mention! I used to have a total addiction to Xanga.

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  2. Oooh, oooh! *raises hand*

    You forgot one of the biggest blogwhore symptoms of all — the bloggers who pull the “look at me! look at me!” routine constantly telling their followers to nominate them for this or vote for them for that. It reeks of a pathetic need for acceptance and praise. If you aren’t getting that without asking for it, you don’t really deserve it yet. What’s truly sad is just how many bloggers fall under that spell every time another “top” or “best” list comes along.

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    • Then they have no need to ask for nominations and votes, do they? If they’re that great, they’ll get them naturally (the only votes that actually matter). And I’m quite sure they would get natural votes in relevant rankings.

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  3. Exactly. All of this “top blog” crap was a big deal in the PR crowd a couple of years ago, from subjective lists being touted as being able to gauge the “best” of anything to people using highly faulty metrics like w/ the Power150. At that point, my PR blog was included in a lot of those types of lists. When I came across them, I’d request removal.

    Don’t get me wrong. If some blogger says “these are my favorite blogs, you should check them out” that’s cool. It’s interesting to see what other bloggers like. But when they promote it as being something even remotely authoritative, it (and the people who get sucked in by the hype of it) is just kind of sad. If you get nominated without asking, voted a “winner” without asking, etc., then by all means be as happy as you want to be. Good for you. But the moment you have to ask for it or feel obligated to post banners on your site you basically become nothing more than a pawn to promote the contest holder while stroking your own ego.

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  4. I completely agree with that Jenn. When I see that I have a lot less respect for the blog. Their best recognition should be frequent visitors, not a shiny banner with buzzwords on it.

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  5. Jen, you’re right. I can’t believe I forgot about that little pet peeve, especially now that the Weblog Awards are coming up and currently in the nomination process. Maybe I find the practice to be both so pointless and annoying that I developed a blind spot to it?

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  6. @Yo – LOL Yeah, that’s why I ask to have my other blog removed. One thing I always find amusing is that people like Anne and Angie rarely seem to get on these lists in the freelance writing niche compared to the usual suspects — maybe they don’t whore themselves out enough or something, but they run far better blogs than the same old stuff always there. While once in a while a newer blog gets some credit due so the list is actually useful in exposing it to more people, for the most part it gets rather dull rather quickly.

    @Matt – Obviously not. lol Sorry.

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  7. haha – No, by the time I saw your comment I made no connection (didn’t read it right after reading Clint’s post, so I didn’t even remember Swift was mentioned). Sorry. Had you started with an “Imma gonna let u finish,” I probably would have. But I stand by all comments regardless. 😛

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  8. Wow! Great article! I never thought of it that way!

    Umm, is this article about tying your shoes? I’m lost.

    OK seriously though, I just started a full-time freelance career (9 months ago) and get really nervous doing self-promotion. How much is enough? How much is too little? I read on Guy Kawasaki’s blog about the importance of sending the same tweet out in 3 different time zones (too lazy to link here, sorry). So, in your wise and all-knowing opinion 🙂 what’s a good promotional frequency to shoot for?

    p.s. your post had me in stitches 🙂

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  9. I would never post the same link for different time zones. I think that gets a little spammy. I prefer to use search.twitter or similar engines to get a feel for what others are talking about around topics I’m interested in/write about and then get involved in the live conversation that way.

    The Xanga reference got me too, that was hilarious.

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  10. The time zone tweets are simply bad advice… at least if we’re talking about all / most of your links. It’s spam plain and simple.

    The only reason you should multi-tweet a link is if it’s a BIG deal — think big new site launch, not that you wrote a blog post. And even then you should only be posting across multiple time zones with the same thing IF the news you’re tweeting is highly relevant to people in ALL of those time zones, and there’s little chance they’d have seen the earlier tweet.

    It’s one thing to think about marketing and linkbuilding. It’s another thing to paint a picture of yourself as a spammer in the process (like folks who tweet the same blog posts from their own account and a “blog” Twitter account, or who post links to every post no matter how mundane half of them are, or the ones who post the same post link five times a day — why would you want to associate yourself with that??).

    Save multi-tweeting for “special” occasions when you’ve got something really buzzworthy going on. If you never do, then do something about it and build something worth that buzz.

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  11. Yay me! I’m not a blogwhore…yet LOL I’m glad I found your blog and will add it to my list to read daily. Perhaps I’ll follow you on Twitter too LOL Thanks for the nice laugh.

    I don’t get the time zone tweeting thing though…

    Nice meeting you all 🙂

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  12. Good, I only fit #1, and even there, I write longer comments than one stupid little line, so I guess I’m okay. Of course, I’m one of those Twitter folks who won’t even follow anyone who doesn’t talk to someone every once in awhile; after all, isn’t that what social media is supposed to be, social?

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