We post an awful lot of career advice here on AFW. I'm not sure if you've been keeping track of everything going here, but we have everything from tax advice to job leads to different types of writing you can do on a weekly basis. It's a lot of work, but we love to do it. At least, I do. I can't speak for Yolander, and frankly if I were her, I'd quit. I spent way too much time as a baby freelancer wasting my time on various bid and random gig sites. That, and I want to have her name.
Yo-LAN-der. So cool.
Anyway. I'm afraid that we've done you a disservice. Although you have come to this blog for a great number of articles on various writing markets and professions, there's one we skipped. Inexcusably, in my estimation. That would be the profession of being a Craigslist advertisement perv.
Now yesterday I may have posted the following:
Do you have a vivid, extraordinary erotic imagination? Are you prepared to share it, extemporaneously, with a generous, good-looking gentleman? This is NOT an ad for sex, but for a titillating encounter, or series of encounters, in which you share your dirtiest fantasies with a respectful and polite guy.
- Have no shame. This one should be a no-brainer. Why else would you ask for someone to do this for you, especially in a job section of a well-known website? The squeaky wheel gets the grease, or in this case, a lot of free porn. Or at least the potential to get a lot of free porn, assuming that Jenn doesn't track down your IP and brain you senseless for wasting her time.
- Throw out big words. This will trick prospective people into thinking that you're actually someone with an iota of class. Many well-known pornographers have been known to do this. In fact, I think it's the sole reason that fancy fonts were even invented. It fools people who don't know better into thinking that there is some modicum of propriety.
- Define yourself and don't let the audience define you. Sure, people might call you an inappropriate boob for posting something stupid like this, but that doesn't matter. You have already told everyone that you're a respectful guy. How could you be disrespectful if you clearly don't identify as such? It doesn't even matter if you truly don't even grasp the concept of respect. The less you know, actually, the better off you are. Maintain your position that this is totally harmless and hey, you're just a guy who asks for something with little more than the expectation and the hope to receive. Who cares if your request is skeezy and even looked down upon by Ron Jeremy?
Best of luck to you out there. I look forward to seeing the new and slimy ways you all plan on choking up Craigslist with inappropriate requests!
Disclaimer: Do not listen to the humorist. Do not take the humorist seriously. The humorist will not be held responsible for anything you decide to do despite the clear use of sarcasm HTML tags.