Hurricane Season 2010, Or "Twister: Shaken and Stirred"

The 2010 Hurricane Season has begun, and it ain't looking pretty. Experts think it'll be one of the most vicious seasons yet. Bad enough that the Gulf Coast has to deal with all that oil gunking up their shore - just imagine mixing in a hurricane. Oily water and killer that's a Virgin Mary you don't want to have while you're still a virgin.

Then again, mankind has always been a bunch of reeds suspectible to the elements. And when the winds of fate blow, and we notice that it's picked up a house and a Chevy, all we can do is hang on and pick up the pieces. That's why I want you to have a plan to keep your family safe from a hurricane. And considering how tough it's gonna be, you might want to get some really tall bodyguards.

But don't stop there, freelance writers. Even if you've never seen a hurricane in your life, you can still learn from the annual practice of preparing not to die. Freelance writing is a lot like a hurricane, after all. Hurricanes bring people together to rebuild...becoming a freelance writer brings people together to send you many job applications.

  • Every year, hurricane veterans create a survival kit to take care of their family in case the big one hits. Freelance writers should get a survival kit, too. After all, you may not have a real job, but your family still needs real food. Make sure your "Mom's a 'writer' survival kit" has everything your family needs to survive. Spare no expense. Buy the deluxe version - it comes with a responsible parent in the box.
  • People who decide to ride out the hurricane usually board up the windows to protect themselves when the hurricane comes a knockin'. Freelance writers, meanwhile, need to board up their souls to protect themselves from all the naysayers who think they will fail. Block them out and keep working towards freelance success. You'll reach your goal if you stay positive. Just keep telling yourself that those New Year's Resolutions were only flukes because you never studied for them.
  • Then again, the worst could happen. You might have to slink back to a day job to cover your expenses while you work freelance at night. This can be tough for many freelancers. Especially since, at night, the naysayers who are now snickering will be harder to see. Console yourself with a major-league, sure-fire excuse for having to come back to work. For example, you're not coming back because you need money. You just like to work in tiny boxes and pretend you're being shipped overseas.

Remember - disasters can happen at any time. Have a plan. And be ready for anything. Especially this year, when a hurricane might suck up all that oil to make a "t-oil-nado".

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Matt Willard's bio begins with witty phrasing that succinctly illustrates his stance as a humorist. It is then followed with a clever sentence that illustrates what he does in his spare time. The bio concludes with a shameless link to his Twitter profile, paired with an off-hand comment that alludes to his success with women. Laughter.

2 thoughts on “Hurricane Season 2010, Or "Twister: Shaken and Stirred"”

  1. Interestingly, I’ve survived a hurricane with a freelance writing career and two small children. Got some new carpet and a new tile roof at the end of it all, but thanks to that handy smartphone, the laptop and the occassional trip to my sister’s inlaws (who didn’t lose power for five days like the rest of us) I was able to keep things up and at least communicate with clients.

    I’m hoping that if we get another one down here in Houston this year, it will rip out my appliances and a few windows that need replacing, otherwise I’ll just have to take care of that myself in the next year or two.

    I’ve made no secret of having a full-time job during the day, but then I didn’t slink back. I love my job, so that would certainly be the difference, I think. 🙂


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