“Get a Real Job” and Other Freelance Buzz Kills
Ah, the joys of working as a freelance writer–you get to work from home, spend the day in your pajamas, no boss looking over your shoulder, watch soaps in the middle of the afternoon, run errands whenever you feel like it, and to top it off everybody respects you. Yeah. And then you wake up.
It’s funny how non-freelancers have these idealistic views of what we do, isn’t it? So in honor of all of those folks who just don’t “get it,” and the freelancers who have to deal with them, I thought it might be fun to share some of our favorite buzz kills–the things that make us cringe. Here are a few of the most common:
Get a Real Job
A lot of people honestly don’t seem to think we “work” if we’re a writer. This one comes in many versions. For me is was my mother handing me the job ads from the local paper whenever I visited her (she finally quit that a while back), and people I don’t see often who always ask if I have a new job yet when we catch up.
Reality check–writing is a job. Freelancing is an employment status; not a virus we’re trying to shake. And guess what… it can be hard. If it were as simple as a lot of people think it is, then trust me, a heck of a lot more people would jump on the freelance bandwagon.
We plan just like any entrepreneur. We market to attract clients. We compete and we network. We deal with administrative duties and manage the finances. And on top of it all, we have clients to take care of. We don’t answer to one boss. We have to adapt to answer to client after client after client.
Yes, freelancing has its perks. Those perks don’t make it a cakewalk. They instead act as motivation–those perks give us a reason to put up with all of the hard stuff that most in the 9-5 world couldn’t pull off (and that many have failed at when trying).
Since You’ll be Home All Day….
I hear this is worse for the married writers out there, but I’ve seen my share. In my case, I live very close to my mother and sister. While they don’t do it as much anymore, I used to constantly be asked to go out and run errands during the weekdays, during my working hours. I still help out, but they’ve finally taken the hint that I have a job that comes first, and that I’m very capable of saying “no.”
Do you get this one from someone–a husband or wife perhaps? Do they ask you to take care of the grocery shopping or drop off clothes at the dry cleaners during business hours just because you work from home? Do your kids want you to drop everything and play chauffer because they don’t feel like taking the school bus? Tell us about it.
Oh. [Insert Long Awkward Silence Here.]
OK. This might fall under the “get a real job” group, but it’s my favorite so I think it deserves its own mention. This one’s great–you either meet someone for the first time and they ask what you do, or you’re catching up with someone who hasn’t been keeping up to date on your employment status.
“So, what are you doing these days?”
“I’m a writer.”
“Oh….”
At this moment, I’m never really sure what I’m supposed to do. Sometimes I want to laugh. Other times I just roll my eyes. And sometimes I’m feeling a bit snippy and feel like I need to defend my job.
Occasionally this is followed up with something like “Who do you write for?” or “Are you working on a book?” or “So what have you published?” But lord help you if you don’t give them an answer that they would consider respectable or “real” writing. Otherwise you’d consider the previously “uncomfortable” moment to be a blessing.
So tell us–what are some of the worst things you hear from friends, family, or even strangers? How does it make you feel when people don’t take your work seriously? Does it wreak havoc on your self-confidence, or can you simply smile inside knowing that they’re probably just jealous, ignorant, or a combination of the two?
About the Author: Jennifer Mattern
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Since you’ll be home all day…why don’t you unload the dishwasher, do the laundry, take out the trash, go buy me stamps, get the food shopping done…
Neither my husband nor my mother ever seem to get the picture, though I told my husband that if he wants me to be a housewife, I’m ore than happy to stop bringing in income and leave the bills to him.
Oh yeah… how could I forget dishes and laundry? I made the mistake of cleaning up an ex’s place a few times, and from then on whenever I spent a few days there (working while he was), he essentially expected to come home to his laundry done and folded, bed made, dishes washed, and dinner ready. Never again thank you.
Sounds like you handled it as best you could. Did that help it sink in, or is this one of those things people continually “forget” from one instance to the next?
Hey Jennifer and all!
I’ve been freelance writing for 7 years and my Mom finally shows me the courtesy of not calling during the day because she knows I’ll be working. I nearly fainted when she told me that. I never thought she would come to respect my profession. The only person that has ever taken me seriously is my husband – from the start. Now that I am more successful others are slowly coming around. I think the biggest buzz kill is feeling like we always have to prove ourselves. I have just completely changed my outlook on that. Others follow suit when you’re able to do that.
That’s a great point Nicole. We do have to prove ourselves quite a lot. I think we end up better for it though–if everyone said “go for it” when I first started working for myself, I probably wouldn’t have been so motivated to grow things quickly. Sometimes I feel like I succeeded to spite the people who said I wouldn’t… and I’m cool with that.
I find that my husband finds it difficult to remember any lesson permanently. ::sigh::
My dad actually has a new twist on the ‘get a real job’ comment. He’s absolutely convinced that I’m not actually making any money and, every time he calls, he asks if I need some help financially.
While I appreciate his concern, I’m considering making him look through my invoices to prove that I’m doing good!
I have relatives who insist that I am “going crazy” because I’m missing the social aspect of working outside the home. They suggest that I at least get a part-time job and reference me to online job sites.
Then, I get “When are you going back to work?” all the time. I used to play along and say “Oh…I don’t know…” Now, I simply say “I’m not.” It’s funny how many people want to work at home, but have no respect for people that actually do work at home. I don’t get it.
@Thursday – I think I would take my dad up on the financial “help” whether I needed it or not! lol
Thursday – Just hang in there. One of the best feelings in the world in this game is the day those people who either helped out or assumed you always needed their help finally come to you for a loan or something.
Latoya – I get the “antisocial” comments too. They don’t bother me as much as they used to though. My favorite in that sense is the “you’ll never meet a good man” one. I just remind people that I haven’t met any “good” ones outside the home either, and that tends to shut them up.
I’ll admit it’s lonely work sometimes. I live in quiet area, and most of my friends have left here – closest are about a half an hour away or so these days, so that doesn’t help much. But I’ll take a little loneliness over working in a job I can’t stand for 8+ hours a day any day. That always felt like such a waste of a life to me.
I am lucky! I can’t recall ever getting any “get a real job” comments that have been tossed my way since I became a freelancer. I guess I should count my blessings, eh?
Soooooo jealous.
I’m transitioning from full-time day jobbing to full-time writing via part-time day jobbing. Last year I approached my boss about changing my contract to four days a week so I could focus one day on my writing career. She was very respectful about my career plans and agreed to the arrangement. Ever since, though, I’ve had a lot of ‘How was your long weekend?’ because she insisted that my day away from the office be Monday. I’m sick of explaining that actually I had the same weekend she did, and then I worked for myself for a day. (In fact, probably worked on the weekend as well.)
Then, whenever I get an assignment she asks me, ‘And are they going to pay you a little bit of money?’ in the sort of voice you’d use when asking a 5-year-old what he wants to be when he grows up.
LOL I love the “little bit of money” line. Just think about how good it’ll feel when you can eventually say “Nope… LOTS of money… enough that I don’t need this job anymore!”
“A little bit of money” is cracking me up. I’m so sorry you have to listen to someone patronize you like that, though! “Gee, Wally yes! It’s even more than my allowance! Now I can go down to the dime store and get a Coke for a nickle! “
[...] the other day, I read a post over at All Freelance Writing on the misconceptions people can have about the freelance [...]
A very good friend said to me: “A lot of freelancers also have part-time jobs you know. When I was trying to make it as a folk singer, I had to …. ” Hmmmnnn.
The comparison between freelancing and artistic endeavors (not that writing isn’t artistic) is actually quite common. If anything, working with musicians for years makes me kind of grateful to be doing what we do. We may not get more respect than a lot of other professionals, but we do get more than many other kinds of artists (why I’d rather work for musicians than as one!). The funny thing is that it’s often the artists who continue the stereotype, assuming that they won’t ever earn a living at it, so they never fully try (although I’ve known a few who really treat it as a business and have a lot to show for it now).
[...] “Get a Real Job” and Other Freelance Buzz Kills [...]
Haha – This is so true and its very annoying in real life.
I have a friend, she was jobless up to a few months ago. Back then she was constantly asking me to help her find freelancing gigs and I did. I didn’t know how she’d work out as a writer so I gave her some of the projects assigned to me so I can edit it before I submit it to a client. She was ok at it, but she was very slow. I was that way when I started out myself. She stopped writing for me after a few weeks and she still says she has plans to start again… she hasn’t yet.
Now, she has a job an 8-5 gig and one day when I was free, I visited her at work. We talked and I told her that I was being offered an 8-5 gig, but that I wasn’t sure I was going to go for it. For one, it paid much lower than what I was earning as a freelance writer. Then she starts saying: ‘Go on, take it. At least we’ll both have ‘real jobs’”.
I must say I was a bit disappointed at her and a bit shocked and even insulted. I never thought that her of all people, her that I who actually earned some money from freelance writing now fails to consider it real… tsk tsk tsk..
I find that those who have tried freelancing but still don’t consider it a “real job” are usually just the ones who couldn’t cut it. It’s not for everyone, and that’s okay. But I do get tired of reactions like that. If it didn’t seem like “real work” to them, they quite obviously weren’t doing something right.
I’ve recently quit my part-time job in favor of freelancing (programming). I haven’t been experiencing any of the poor reactions from people that you all seem to be.
Could it be that people view different types of freelancing differently, even if really they work pretty much the same way (ex. you write an article, I write a program, etc.)?
Cool article1
I think that’s definitely the case. Not everyone thinks they can handle programming on their own, but many people take the mentality that “anyone can write,” without understanding that not everyone can write well. They don’t understand everything that truly goes into a piece of sales copy for example in order to not only get the words down but also appeal to readers and influence conversions. Or they don’t understand the complexities of news writing, conducting interviews for features, etc. There’s much more to writing than slapping words on a page, and unfortunately many don’t understand that.