Resolutions for the Working Mom

We are a special breed, yet we often divide ourselves up into groups – presumably so that we can defend ourselves by putting down the others. I’m a working mom, so I’m obviously better than the mom stuck at home – unless she’s a work-at-home mom. Then she gets top billing because she’s able to work at home, make money and teach her children three languages in her spare time by home schooling. Heaven forbid you’re a mom who doesn’t do anything but take care of your kids – you’re practically at the bottom of the heap!

This is all sarcastic, but it probably feels caustic reading it and it should – it’s nasty business tearing down other moms. Let’s review what important:

  • We are all mothers who love our children and want what is best for them.
  • We are all women who know what is best for our families.
  • We are all smart enough to work toward finding the right balance to make it all work.
  • We all know there is no prize for being the best mother, working mother, WAHM, SAHM or homeschooling mom, and if there was a prize, we wouldn’t want to tear down others to get it.

There. I’m glad that’s out there! Now that we’ve laid it all out, let’s outline some resolutions that will help all working mothers get through this next year.

Resolution 1: Recognize that every mother (who is mothering her children) is a working mother. If you find a mother who isn’t working, she’s likely the kind of mother who probably lost custody of her children and the kids are better for it. Every mother who is raising children is working. Some are working outside of the home, some are working two jobs in the home (one paid, one not) and some are working with their own kids. We are all working mothers. End of story.

Resolution 2: Appreciate that we all have different abilities, gifts and drives and never judge another mother based on your own set of gears. I run on multiple channels all the time. I have two jobs, I take care of the kids and I’m Mrs. Fix-it around the house. I also realize that this is an absurd amount for one person to take on regularly. However, I’m not the norm. I’ve always been this way and I know that I thrive on having a very full plate. I would never think less of someone for doing less in a day than I do and I appreciate the other parents who respect my desire and ability to juggle the responsibilities I have.

Resolution 3: Thank yourself for being as devoted as you are by taking regular moments to take stock, relax and enjoy life. Motherhood is a lifelong marathon. It only ends when your kids start taking care of you, so don’t burn out early on by pushing too hard and running too fast. Take a break and look around you. Enjoy your children wholeheartedly. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished for your paying job and your non-paying one. Go wild and take a day off to just do nothing all day long to recharge your batteries. You’re a mother devoted to her family, her livelihood and herself. Reward yourself by enjoying all that you’ve achieved in 2011!

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3 thoughts on “Resolutions for the Working Mom”

  1. Thanks for saying what I have believed for years.

    I had to get myself the heck out of a WAHM group on the web because they kept cutting moms down who worked outside the home (“those mothers don’t really love their children!”) They also didn’t approve of SAHMs. The final straw was when it was decreed that only moms who worked from home and managed with no outside assistance (e.g. daycare) could legitimately call themselves WAHMs. Please!

    It is all born of guilt, imo, and we can all suffer from it! No matter what we choose to do, we fear we are making a mistake and our children will suffer. Those who are insecure about their choices are the ones who feel a need to attack the choices of others.

    There are as many ways to balance motherhood with work and careers as there are families. Each is unique. One cannot devalue another. We need to remind ourselves that we are the best at what we do, which is raise our own families and live our own lives in our own ways.

  2. Amen, Rebecca. Inspirational resolutions and a well grounded, helpful view of a sometimes crazy, unkind group of people (myself included).


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